Goodbye Kylie
by Brandy-Layne
Summary: COMPLETE Sara has a bug up her butt and turns to her friend to vent but did she pick the WRONG night!
1. Chapter 1

AN: Thank you all for your very kind reviews on my last story. What an ego boost let me tell you. Anyway, you can all rest assured I have finished Driving Home and will continue to post the remaining chapters. This is just a little story that I felt like writing for no particular reason. Hope you enjoy and keep sending those reviews. I even like the constructive ones. ;)  
  
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"Love you too Kylie, bye."  
  
Nick hung up the phone and let the tears fall that he had been holding back while talking to his niece. She sounded worse than when he had spoken to her last time. Weaker. He knew she didn't have long to go now. Kylie had been diagnosed with Leukaemia a year ago and now she was losing the battle. It was times like this he was glad he was single and had no children. He knew it was selfish but he didn't think he had the strength to go through what his sister was facing.  
  
Right now all he wanted to do was have a few beers and try to watch TV. He wiped the tears from his red rimmed eyes and went to the fridge and grabbed out a bottle when he heard a knock at his door. He stood in the kitchen for a minute contemplating not answering it. He really didn't feel like company tonight. Another knock, more urgent this time.  
  
He went to his front door and looked through the peep hole. Sara. Now he really didn't want to answer the door. Sara and he were good friends, well HAD been good friends. It was just that lately he had found her a little..... self absorbed.  
  
Taking a deep breath and pasting on a pretend smile he opened the door. "Sara, what are you doing here?"  
  
She looked at him and the look on her face said it all. She was pissed off. Who was it tonight? Grissom? Catherine? Warrick? There was always someone. She breezed passed him and grabbed his beer from his hand. "Thank you, I need this," she said.  
  
Nick sighed. He REALLY was not in the mood for this. He closed the door behind him and while Sara made herself comfortable on the couch.... HIS couch, he went and got another beer from the fridge.  
  
"You will not believe what that.... MAN said to me today."  
  
'OK, it's either Gris or Warrick.' He opened the beer and sat in the chair and put his feet on the coffee table. This chair was no where near as comfortable as his couch. "What did he say."  
  
Nick listened long enough to work out that the target of Sara's rage was Grissom and then zoned out. It was the same old story. Nick had been witness to the strange dance these two had danced for the last 4 years and he was the one Sara turned too each time her world fell in on her. He was the one to wipe her tears, pick her up and dust her off, tell her she could do better, and send her on her way again. He was sick of it.  
  
Hell, he had even slept with her a couple of times in the beginning. Both times it happened Nick had thought Sara had come to her senses and realised Grissom was not the man for her. He thought she had realised her feelings for Nick and they would skip off and live happily ever after. Huh! What a joke! All she had done was use him for sex and then throw herself back at Grissom. He no longer harboured those feelings for Sara but it had been a hard lesson to learn. They had however, developed a friendship that Nick had never experienced with a woman. Both were there for each other when they needed a shoulder to cry on. Well that had been the way until 12 months ago. For some reason when they both applied for that promotion, her attitude towards him.... changed. She had assumed from day one that she was going to get it, and she never bothered to hide that fact from him. Oh, she didn't say it in so many words but a few comments here and there told him loud and clear.  
  
He tuned back in to the conversation to see if any of his input was required. Nope, still ranting. His thoughts turned back to his niece. In fact he had his own bone to pick with Grissom. He had approached him today about taking a few days off next week. He wanted to go to Dallas and visit Kylie. Well, to be perfectly honest he wanted to say goodbye to her.  
  
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"Gris, you got a minute?" Nick ducked his head into Grissom's office during the night when it was slow.  
  
"Sure Nick, come in. What can I do for you?"  
  
Even after four years Nick still felt uncomfortable in this office. It was....intimidating, and he was pretty damn sure that was how Grissom liked it.  
  
"I was wondering if I could have the next few days off. I know it is short notice but it is kind of important."  
  
Grissom looked over his glasses at the younger man sitting opposite him. Nick squirmed under the gaze.  
  
"Sorry Nick, I can't afford to have you off. Catherine has a conference and I already approved holidays for someone else earlier this shift."  
  
Nick looked at Grissom in disbelief. He can't remember the last time he had asked for time off and now that it was so important, he couldn't get it. "Who?"  
  
"Sara requested a week off. Needs some time to 'find herself' is what she said. I'm sorry Nick."  
  
Nick slumped back. He looked back at his supervisor, "Gil, I wouldn't ask if it wasn't important. I really need this time off."  
  
Grissom's eyebrow shot up at the fact that Nick had used his first name. Very unusual. However the look on his face made him soften his stance a bit. "Tell you what, why don't you ask Sara if she can 'find herself' at a later time. If so, I'll sign off on a few days for you." Nick nodded and stood. He knew Grissom would not approach Sara. They were still iffy since she asked him out that time. Grissom didn't think Nick knew about that but he did. Sara had ended up at his place that night too. No sex but plenty of beers and tears.  
  
Nick went in search of Sara. He found her at her locker. "Hey Sar, can I speak to you for a minute?"  
  
"Sure, what is it." She was cranky but that was her usual state of mind these days.  
  
"Grissom told me you were having some time off and I was hoping that you might be willing to put that off for a while. I really have to go home for something and Grissom won't give me the time off with you and Catherine away."  
  
"No way, forget it. I haven't had any time off in months. Besides, you're the one who is always telling me to get a life. Can't help you."  
  
"Sara...." He was going to tell her the reason but she didn't give him a chance.  
  
"Forget it Nick. Look, I'm really sorry that you are going to miss your Alpha Male Delta Frat Boy reunion or whatever, but I need this time off. Besides, I've made plans and they can't be broken. Maybe next year."  
  
Nick was crestfallen. That was when he came home and spoke to his sister on the phone.  
  
"You really need to get out here Nick. She is so weak. Just tell your boss why you need the time off. I am sure he will give it to you."  
  
"I shouldn't have to tell him why. He knows I wouldn't ask for it if it wasn't important."  
  
"Nick, just swallow that damn pride of yours for once will you. She is dying and wants to see her favourite uncle. Please?"  
  
"OK, I'll try again tomorrow. Is she awake?"  
  
"Yeah I'll put you on."  
  
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"I mean, I'm right aren't I. He has no idea."  
  
Nick nodded and sipped his beer. He had no idea himself as to what they were talking about but a nod seemed to satisfy her.  
  
"I am just going to sit a home for the next few nights and if he even tries to call me in I am going to let him have it."  
  
Nick sat there for a few minutes trying to think about what in that last part of her conversation was pissing him off. Oh yeah.... That was it. 'Going to sit at home for the next few nights.' She had told him that she had plans that couldn't be broken. She had lied to him. She picked the WRONG time to do that.  
  
He could here her blabbing on and on and on and he was getting angrier and angrier. 'Shut up Sara.' He thought. 'Just shut up, shut up, shut up.'  
  
"Shut UP!" he shouted at her.  
  
She stopped dead in mid sentence and stared at him. In a dangerously low voice she said, "What did you just say to me?" Her eyes flashed with anger.  
  
Normally that look would make Nick back down and run away like a dog with his tale between his legs but not tonight. Tonight he had had enough. "I said shut up."  
  
The look on her face was priceless. She was speechless. Her mouth opening and closing like a beached fish.  
  
"I am SO sick of your endless bitching and whining. I have had to put up with this for nearly a year and I am sick to death of it. You have become so self absorbed you have NO idea what is happening with anyone else around you. When was the last time you asked someone at work 'Hey, how's it going?' and actually listened to what they had to say. And what is with your attitude over that promotion? You think you deserve it more than I did? Well you didn't. It wasn't some sort of vindictive attack from Grissom. He recommended me because I DESERVED it. Why don't you sit back and ask yourself why you DIDN'T get it and work on that. And while we are talking about Grissom when are you going to realise this man does NOT WANT YOU. God, for four years you have been chasing a ghost. Christ, you can't even call him by his first NAME."  
  
He stopped and took a breath. Man that felt good! He looked over at Sara and saw the tears brimming in her eyes. Ok, feeling less good about it now.  
  
"God Sara, I'm sorry but.... You just picked a REALLY bad night for this." Nick walked towards her.  
  
She stood. "Fuck you Nick Stokes. I come here because I needed a friend to talk to and this is how you treat me. Thanks a lot." She picks her coat up off the end of the couch and storms to the door.  
  
"YOU needed a friend to talk to. Christ Sara, I've needed a friend for months now and you..... Aggghhh. I think you should go now before I say something I will really regret!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
"Fine!"  
  
The door slammed and he was alone. He sat on his couch and let the tears flow. 


	2. Chapter 2

Nick walked into work that night and marched straight into Grissom's office. He was sitting behind his desk reading a file. In fact if he wasn't in a different set of clothes Nick would have sworn he hadn't moved since last night.  
  
Grissom pulled his attention from the file and looked at Nick standing in his office. He obviously had something to say. "Nick?"  
  
"Grissom, I know I asked you for time off last night but I really need it and this is why. My niece is dying and if I don't get out to Dallas to see her I won't get a chance to say goodbye. I'm sorry I didn't tell you this yesterday but.... Hell, I don't know why I didn't." Nick sat down with a slump. Looking up at the older man he said simply, "Please Gris, I'm begging you."  
  
Nick's eyes reflected the pain he was in. There is no way Gil could say no to his plea. "I'll call Sara back in. Can you work a few hours until she gets back? I just got a call for a break in."  
  
Nick nodded, "Don't expect a friendly reception. She's got the shits right now."  
  
"When doesn't she?"  
  
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Nick and Grissom were working side by side when Nick's cell phone rang. He thought about not answering it as he was trying to pick up a particularly fine fibre from the window sill. But he did. "Stokes."  
  
"Nicky, it's Karen. She's gone." Nick could hear his sister sobbing on the other end of the phone. He felt his heart tear apart. At least that is what it felt like to him. He stood and walked away from his partner, wanting to take the call in as much privacy as he could. "Did you hear me.... She died Nick. My little girl is gone."  
  
He didn't know what to say. His throat was closed tight. Tears came to his eyes and spilled over down his cheek. He was too late. He didn't get to say goodbye. "Oh god Karen, I'm so sorry." A sob of his own escaped him. He could hear something on the other end of the phone. "Karen, are you there.. are you OK."  
  
A male voice came on the line. Karen's husband sounded only slightly better than Karen had, "Nick, she's really upset right now. We'll call you back later. Let you know what is happening with the funeral. OK."  
  
Nick nodded. He realised that Jackson couldn't see him and he managed to get out "K" before Jackson hung up the phone. Nick took the hand set from his ear and looked at it. He was too late. He missed his chance to say goodbye to his niece. His god daughter. If only he had told Grissom the reason why last shift. He would have been there today, would have said goodbye, would have held her hand one last time, would have been there to comfort his sister.  
  
He was consumed by guilt and rage. "Aggghhhh," he punched the wall in front of him, once, twice, three times. The pain in his hand minute compared to the pain in his heart.  
  
The rage was quickly replaced by grief. Sobs wracked his body. He felt a hand on his shoulder and he remembered where he was and who he was with. Wiping his eyes with back of his hand he turned to Grissom ready to apologise for his outburst.  
  
Knowing what Nick was going to say and guessing what the phone call was, Gil shook his head. "Nick, it's OK. I'm sorry. I think you should go home, OK."  
  
Nick nodded. Home was good. Home was where he needed to be.  
  
"Go back to work and sign yourself out and go OK. I can finish this up. You OK to drive?"  
  
Nick nodded. That was all he was able to do for some reason.  
  
Gil gave him one last squeeze on the shoulder and let him go. Nick drove back to the station on auto pilot. Not really paying attention to where he was going or what he was doing. All he could do was think about Kylie.  
  
After sitting in his car for a couple of minutes and getting himself under control he walked inside to sign off for the night. Unfortunately, with LVPD issued firearms, you couldn't just leave a scene and head home. You always had to come back to the station and hand in your weapon, and sign it back in, and yourself out.  
  
When he had completed the necessities he went to his locker to get out his wallet and keys to his own car.  
  
"You son of a bitch!" Unfortunately, that was the exact moment that Sara came back into work.  
  
Nick turned his back to her so she wouldn't see his tear streaked face. She was another reason he didn't get to say goodbye to Kylie.  
  
"I cannot believe you told Grissom to call me back in. You arsehole. I told you I was at home in confidence and you use it to get your way. Well congratulations Mr Stokes. You get to go to your frat party after all. I hope you choke to death on whichever little whore's tongue you will have down your throat."  
  
Nick turned to Sara, rage making him shake all over. It was all he could do not to reach out and take her throat in his hands. He didn't trust himself to speak. Whatever came out his mouth now could not be taken back. He wanted to scream at her. Wanted to call her every name under the sun. Wanted her to hurt half as much as he was now. But he didn't say anything. He just looked at her.  
  
Sara didn't recognise this man standing in front of her. She had never seen him so distraught, and angry. She realised she had stepped over the mark. Realised she had hurt him when he had needed her friendship. Realised she just may have lost her best friend forever. He turned and closed his locker. Stepped over the bench and walked out. His back as rigid as cast iron. He was right, she had been too self absorbed lately.  
  
"Sara," she turned and realised Grissom had come back from the field and had been witness to the entire event. "Can I see you in my office please."  
  
She followed him in. She expected a chewing out. She deserved it. He closed the door behind him and indicated that she take a seat. He sat on the edge of his desk in front of her. He didn't say anything for a while. He just looked at her. He had seen her change over the last twelve months. Had seen the strain on the friendship between her and Nick. Tonight just proved how much these two had drifted apart. He wasn't even sure that Sara had been aware of the change but she was now. It was hitting home hard.  
  
"I take it you don't know the reason he needed the time off?" She just shook her head. "His niece passed away tonight. He had been hoping to get back to Texas to say goodbye to her but, sadly, he didn't make it." He watched Sara as this news struck home.  
  
"Which niece was it?"  
  
"He didn't tell me. All I know is she had Leukaemia."  
  
"It must have been Kylie. He told me about it a year ago when they first found out she had it. He was her god father you know." Tears welled up in her eyes. She now realised where that pain had come from.  
  
She knew Kylie had been very special to him. His favourite. She always sent him text messages from her mother's phone, or emailed him pictures of her and her brother. "Uncle Nicky is her favourite," he had told her once when she saw him looking at a photo on his email. She had his smile. The Stokes smile.  
  
"Sara, I don't know what has happened between you and Nick, but he really needs a friend right now." She nodded. Gil could tell she had realised her mistake and that anything further he added could not make her feel any worse than she felt now.  
  
"OK, I need you to go out to Henderson. Warrick has a DB out there. OK?"  
  
She nodded. She would go and see Nick straight after shift and beg and plead for forgiveness. She hoped he didn't hate her too much. 


	3. Chapter 3

Shift had ended and now she found herself outside his door. She lifted her hand to knock but changed her mind. She fished around in her wallet and found the spare key to his front door. He had given this to her years ago when he asked her to check on his house while he had been in Texas.  
  
She had used it several times since, when one of them had a bad case and needed a cuddle. She used to know when he needed one, and he knew when she needed one. She would use that key to come in while he slept and crawl in beside him. She used it now knowing her friend needed comfort now more than ever.  
  
The door swung open and she entered and looked around the screen that blocked the entrance from his lounge room. He was lying on the couch, his arms holding a pillow, his head buried in it. He was asleep but came awake when he heard the door shut.  
  
She came and knelt beside him. Stroking his hair as he lay there looking at her.  
  
"I'm so sorry Nick. For everything. For Kylie dying, for not letting you have my nights off, for not being there. But mainly for being such a selfish bitch for so long." She lent in and placed a kiss on his forehead.  
  
"Thank you." Barely a whisper. His voice raspy from crying. He sat up and she got up and sat beside him. He lay back down with his head in her lap. She stroked his hair and held him tight. They stayed like that for hours.  
  
He hadn't completely forgiven her, but he knew he would. Given time. Right now he needed to be held, and that was what his friend was doing.  
  
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The coffin was the heaviest thing he had ever carried. The emotional weight far outweighing the physical. His brother, father and Kylie's father were pallbearers.  
  
The service had been simple but beautiful. So many people had attended. It was mind blowing how such a young girl, not even 12, could attract so many people to her funeral. He doubted he would have half this number at his own. Now was time for the graveside burial. Family only.  
  
They placed the coffin in the hearse and watched it pull away. The crowd dispersed to their cars, the family to the line of black limousines waiting to take them to the graveside.  
  
He stood for a short moment watching the cars pull out. Steeling himself for the next part. He hated watching coffins get lowered into the ground. It was so..... final. He was going to be cremated. He had already made up his will and given instructions for it.  
  
He turned to make his way back to the limo that was waiting and saw her. Sara. In a simple black dress. Just standing there.  
  
"What are you doing here?"  
  
"I thought you could use a friend." She came to him and hugged him. "Your eulogy was beautiful. She was lucky to have an uncle that loved her so much."  
  
He smiled sadly at her. "I thought I was going to crack up in the middle."  
  
She shrugged, "So what if you had. There is no shame in crying Nick."  
  
"Nick, we have to go." His brother had come down from the waiting car, wondering who the woman was holding Nick's hands in hers.  
  
"OK. I'll be there in a second." His brother walked back to the waiting car.  
  
"I have to go."  
  
"OK." She reached up and brushed his hair back. "You need a haircut." She smiled that gap tooth smile at him.  
  
"Will you come to the burial with me? I don't know if I can do it alone." She could see tears welling in his eyes.  
  
"It's a family thing Nick. I wouldn't feel right."  
  
"Please. Everyone else has someone to hold their hand. I don't. Please come and hold my hand?"  
  
She leaned up and placed a small kiss on his cheek. "OK." Hand in hand they walked up to the waiting car. And she didn't let go. Not through the burial. Not through the wake. And not at the hotel afterwards when he cried.  
  
She had let Nick down in the last twelve months and she made a promise to herself she would never let him down again. 


End file.
